Blog: Stephen
Bailey

How does one start a blog for Big Issue North? I guess like how I would start a conversation on Tinder (even though I tend to get unmatched moments later). So here goes: I’m 28 years old, a real-life ginger and originally from Denton in Manchester. I’m still not entirely sure what Denton Rocks is. The best job I’ve had so far was at Sainsbury’s Denton, but I had to leave because the fleece clashed with my hair. Oh and I’m currently a comedian.

That’s when they tend to unmatch me. I think they are scared I’m going to talk about them on stage… and they’re right! If you send me a “Hi” followed by an “aubergine” emoji – you deserve to be spoken about.

My show Should’ve Been A Popstar is certainly not for kids and is in no way like High School Musical (except that I do look like Zac Efron). It is a show about confidence. Growing up, I didn’t really have any. I had a lisp, a stammer, a brace, acne, big ginger curls (my head looked like a barrel of hay) – it was a mess and I was painfully shy. My parents took me to speech therapy to help with the stammer. The therapist (who I thought at the time was the Devil) made me sing in her office – and it worked. But I was still super shy. And I didn’t want to be any more.

Now, I use comedy to show people how I found confidence. I travel the UK telling my inappropriate stories on stage. Not bad for someone whose school leavers’ book contained the comment, “I’ve never met anyone who just went red because someone said hello to them.” Yep, it was that bad.

We live in a world now where everything is online. That is not entirely a bad thing (imagine if I’d had to handwrite this ­– my wrist would be limp!), but I do think we have all become used to hiding behind a computer. We even date online – which I am not entirely sure I’m a fan of. This technical set-up has affected everyone’s confidence. I have friends who used to go out to Yates’s on a Saturday night to go on the poach for questionable looking men – and now they stay in Tindering for the same type of men.

It took me so long to find my confidence – 23 years, give or take – that I do not want to lose it. This show is about finding, maintaining and embracing your self-confidence – and being OK with the real you that exists away from Facebook.

If you like the sound of this – or you simply like inappropriate humour – please do come along! Bring your gays, grab your girls and let’s try and spot some Corrie stars! I mean, it is near MediaCityUK, and I would love to meet Barbara Knox…

Stephen Bailey: Should’ve Been a Popstar is on 16 March, The Lowry, Salford